It's hearing that President Obama is likely to win the election. That's what makes me nervous.
It also makes me angry. It makes me want to run to all my liberal friends and family and shake them until they understand what they voted for, not just who.
It makes me sad. Sad for all of those beautiful and innocent children who will never get to live in a free land like America because they were aborted. They were robbed. Sad for all of those future women leaders of America who will live with the guilt and shame of murdering a baby before it was born, not knowing what it was she was doing. Sad, for other reasons too, but mostly for America- a nation once founded on the principles of divine righteousness which is now being replaced by worldly understandings.
But mostly it makes me nervous.
It's time to get ready for the fire. History is beginning to repeat itself.
A friend of mine is serving a mission in Panama. We were both in the low brass section at school, and I thought she was just so sweet and kind.
I got an update today. She was in a horrible car accident this morning. She and 11 other missionaries were on a bus- the back tire went out, and the bus flipped several times.
The miracle was that they were all able to walk away from that accident without any more than a few bruises. It was a perfect miracle.
Truly, the Lord protects his servants.
Not only that, but he is our protector too.
It reminds me of a song that I used to listen to all the time when I was 15.
This song got me through a lot. I had a lot of struggles that I dealt with that year. I had a run with depression. I was lost. But through Christ I was found. I was healed. I was protected.
If you don't know this already, then let me be the first to tell you- Christ loves you with an infinite love. Go here to learn more.
This next week is going to be an exciting one. I had a day off today, but tomorrow I will be working the polls in the morning, and closing up at my work place- a total of 12 hours or so.
This should be exciting. I'll have to tell you how it goes!
I like looking back over my life. Looking back over events and dates and times. Looking at how different I am now than I was then.
The past few days have been a simple reminder to me of where I've been, where I'm at, and where I'm going.
After my friend M and I got home this afternoon, my mom told me to spill. And spill I did. Most fine details were covered. All big events were shared. I love talking to my mom and my sisters. They're like my best friends, or something. It must come with the "family" package....
And then, after sharing most everything, Mom asked me what my favorite part of the weekend was.
I paused for a moment, thinking.
I could have easily said zip lining or the dance. Those were the most obvious.
Or maybe the fact that I actually got plenty of attention from a few guys- something that rarely occurs.
Or, perhaps, getting reacquainted with one of my friends from the past.
But instead, I answered with something small and kind and loving that I witnessed throughout the weekend.
There were two brothers at the conference. I only saw them, really, from a distance. One, who we'll call Jon, looked like he had some physical disabilities and seemed very sweet and gentle. The other one, who we'll call Rob, was cute and friendly and, the majority of the time, hung out with a friend of mine.
For most of the weekend, Jon and Rob did their own thing. Of course they did things together, but they did things separately too.
At one point in the conference, Jon wanted to sit in a seat that happened to be right beside me. To sit there, he had to step over the bench. Rob helped him as he did so. The way he did it was so gentle and compassionate, so kind and caring.
From that point on I observed these two brothers. They seemed really close. If Rob decided to pick up a broom and sweep, then Jon was behind him with a dust pan. If Rob was getting food for them, then Jon was there with the utensils for them to use.
There were other things, too, that I noticed. Like when Jon was playing a game, and Rob frequently checked on him.
It was so different from anything that I had ever seen. So often in today's world I see the drop and run act. I see haste and frustration. I see selfishness and pride. It was so refreshing to see something so extraordinary.
Christlike love.
Watching them made me want to be a better person, a better sister, a better daughter. It made me want to serve. It reminded me of the promise that I made to myself on my mission- to love all like Christ loves.
Whilst in Nauvoo, I met a man who was in his 60's. He was very sweet, and very mentally handicapped. He came to several of our concerts with his caretakers. Every time we finished a song, he clapped loudly. Every time we bore our testimony, he vocally said "I AGREE!"
I had the chance to talk to this sweet man after a performance later in the day. In talking with him, I fell in love with his fun personality. I had a very, very strong sense that Heavenly Father loved this son immensely.
Shortly after I finished talking with him, I spoke with his caretakers. They said that they had been blessed to spend the last 40 years with this man, after an auto accident had taken away his ability to be independent. They told us that music always put him in a great mood, and explained to us how much he loved it. They bore a loving testimony to me, a missionary, of his divine worth. It added to my own testimony.
About two weeks later we got word that this beautiful spirit son of God had left the world to return to his heavenly home. Even now my heart is touched by the example he was to me of the love that our Heavenly Father has for his children.
I love this song- this rendition is especially touching.
"Know my child. My kindness shall not depart from thee."
Oh boy, today was packed full of some fun and exciting stuff.
This morning we ate breakfast and then had several classes.
The first class that I went to was on education and success in life. It's been an interesting couple of months. I've been trying to piece my life back together after pulling the puzzle apart and deciding to start from a different angle. From this class I was blessed with the assurance that I am on the right track.
That's always a good thing to know.
The second class was on family history. It made me really excited to get back into my family history and doing research and such.
The third class was a cooking class. Gross. I never want to be in the food industry. Ever.
Then afterwards we cleaned up and got ready for lunch. I didn't mind that part at all!
After lunch we listened to a keynote speaker.
Then we split up and did different activities. I carved a pumpkin with a friend and then went zip lining. It was so much fun!
Afterwards was dinner and the dance.
The dance was so crazy and so fun! I loved watching everyone dancing. I loved the line dances and the opportunities I had to party (in the most "Mormon" sense of the word) with my good friends and my new friends.
I think my favorite part of the evening may have been after the dance. The hall that we did everything in was pretty messy, so I decided it might be a good idea to clean up a bit for the Sabbath.
It gave me a great opportunity to ponder and also to sing.
I love music. It communicates so much more than I can. I have never been able to adequately describe what I feel without music.
It made me feel at peace. A feeling that I haven't really had for a while now.
Every year, the Young Single Adult program of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in my area holds a special conference. Being in the middle of nowhere with 100 other single adults is so much fun!
We sleep in cabins and have bonfires.
We hang out with our old friends, and make some new ones.
We party till midnight and beyond.
We get warm by the camp fire.
It's a blast.
I went last year and it was SO much fun. I decided that I wanted to come again. And I did. And it's turning out to be just as fun this year as it was last year.
Tonight I had an interesting experience. It reminded me of something.
There's this epic and crazy game called Quelf. My relationship with that game is love/hate. I didn't even play it the whole way through- just near the very end.
Anyways, the game takes forever. Think about Monopoly and multiply by four.
(Yeah, that's me with the sour face...)
We probably started that darn game around 7:30 PM, and finished at around 2:30 AM. Crazy. Long. Game.
And then the two guys that were with us walked us back to our cabin before going to theirs. It was very sweet and kind of them.
It brought me back to my mission days. I remember writing in my journal about how all the elders were so very kind and charitable. All the time. And how they always did little things to help us sisters out.
Like one elder ran after a truck to grab my camera, which I had accidentally left on the bandwagon.
Another elder used to hold the door open until all of the sisters had made it through the door.
The elders always waited for the sister to get their lunch before they got theirs.
At one point, even, all of the elders made the sisters their favorite dinner- sweet pork enchiladas from Cafe Rio. And holy cow...they were awesome cooks.
It surprised me how often these simple things were done for us. It was so foreign to me. I thought that chivalry had died in the 60's (or so).
Of course, I had seen the occasional exception. Like my father, and my grandfather, and a few other guys here and there at school, but I thought they were just that- occasional exceptions. A few random survivors of the feminist and SWAG era.
But then, suddenly there were 16 guys, all about my age, who exhibited those super awesome and super incredible traits. It was almost like a revelation...there are men out there that KNOW. They're out there!
I saw two more of them tonight.
It makes me smile.
Question: What are some simple acts of service that you have found to fit into the "chivalrous" category?
I live in a place that is incredibly beautiful in the fall. The tree's change into different colors, and the Appalachian mountains provide the perfect backdrop for this perfect scenery.
Six months ago, I wouldn't have noticed the beauty all around me. I was too busy focusing on the future. I hurried past these beautiful scenes, getting from point A to point B as quickly as I possibly could.
And then I went to the most beautiful place on earth. I was awe struck by the magnificence of God's creations. I was deeply touched by the unconditional love that was woven throughout the gorgeous scenery. I remember, after one particularly difficult rehearsal day, I walked outside and beheld the most beautiful sunset you could ever imagine. It was in that moment that I realized that there is joy in the journey.
This was tested when the most beautiful place on earth was struck by drought. The grass, once plentiful and green, turned brown. Almost to dust. The trees started shedding their leaves, not because it was winter time, but because they were dying. Thirsting to death. Even still, I found joy in the beautiful creations all around me. And then there was rain, and I saw beauty in that too.
True joy, I learned from my experiences, is not getting from point A to point B as quickly as you can. It's not staying at point A, enjoying the moment for as long as you can before regretfully jumping to point B. It's enjoying life and the freedom of choice! It's finding joy in the transitions! It's finding beauty in the good and bad!
It's moving on.
And carrying on.
And endearing, not simply enduring, to the end.
Now, check out this awesome video. Have I mentioned how much I love Sam Tsui? A lot, in case I haven't.
Question of the day: Do YOU find joy in the journey?
