Retrospect

It's almost 2013! I can't even believe it!

2012 has been the best year of my life, thus far. And boy, did it zip right by.

I spent the morning of New Years 2012 at my friend's house, two hours away from home. I was traveling with her sister, my best friend, to Idaho. At 12:01 AM I looked over at her and said "Happy 2012" and then fell asleep.

Just a few hours later we were off. It was the first time I had ever been on an airplane.

Five hours later, we were in an airport waiting for a bus. Four hours later we were in a hotel room near our campus.

I learned a lot in my short time at school. And I was super fit. I walked EVERYWHERE! Sometimes five or six miles a day. It was the best.

In April I went home for about three weeks. My mom and I ran a lot during that short period. I remember one run in particular- we had a big blow up argument over something and we were so mad that we definitely finished all six miles in under 50 minutes. And then it was over and we were best friends again. Awesome.

In May I left for my musical mission to Nauvoo. The time I spent there in that beautiful city was incredible and priceless. I learned so many things. I also ate a TON of delicious food...and totally lost my fitness from Idaho. But I became spiritually fit- more so than I had ever been before. It was incredible.

I came home in August and floundered for a little while. I couldn't find a job. I was alone while all of my "Nauvoo family" had activities together out west. I wasn't dating much. And by much I mean not at all... School hadn't started. My family was moving. I couldn't find a tuba. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do.

Then October hit. A job. Another mission. A plan. Well, sorta. Still working out the kinks as of now.

In November I started feeling a bit more comfortable with my surroundings. Like I fit in again.

December. I don't even remember it. It has gone by so fast.

And now I'm here.

Tomorrow I will post my official New Years Resolution, but for now a sneak peak:

Do one thing a day that scares you!

How Many Pieces of Silver?

Yesterday at my institute class we had a very interesting lesson. The teacher stepped away from the podium after assigning blocks of scriptures from Luke 22 and had us, the students, come up with a short lesson to teach the class.

We all read through our assigned verses, and after about 10 minutes of planning we started presenting the lessons. From the very beginning I noticed a theme. One word in particular: betrayal.

The entire chapter speaks of betrayal.

When Christ instituted the sacrament, He spoke on how one of His own disciples would betray Him.

In a short amount of time this prophecy is fulfilled by Judas who receives a reward of thirty pieces of silver.

Shortly thereafter, Peter denies and betrays Christ three times within just a narrow time frame.

Betrayal. How do WE betray Christ? For how many pieces of silver are we willing to sell our souls?

That question stood out to me quite a bit yesterday. I wasn't sure why, though.

Fast forward to today.

It is Friday, December 14th in the year of 2012.

I get home from work and hear that there was a shooting in an elementary school in Connecticut.  Several of the students and staff are killed. My mind replays scene after scene. What terror and horror, I cannot even imagine. My heart aches and cries for those parents who have lost their precious children, for the families of those teachers, for all of those who were negatively affected by this act of terror.

But what I know, that I wish all would know, is that sometimes Christ allows bad things to happen to good people to condemn the wicked. I also know that those innocent children are in the arms of Christ. He is safety and security. They are mourning for what potential they have lost. They were frightened by what occurred, but are safe now. Life does not end after death. Truly, it does not.

I like posting on Facebook, and so I did. I posted this picture from David Bowen:

From there, I decided to look through some other posts.

I came across one from a family member. He and I have never seen eye to eye on certain things, specifically politics. He decided to use this tragedy to support his ideals- that is, gun control.

This didn't sit well with me. I believe in the right to keep and bear arms. People kill people. Guns don't. They sit inanimate on a shelf until someone decides to pick it up.

A friend of this family member refuted. The friend listed some very viable points. I liked his comment.

My family member decided to target me. He clicked on this picture and commented. Rude and malicious and hateful words were typed, all denying the existence of God and calling for an "intelligent" debate. He concluded it by writing "offended? So am I". While I was reading it, I literally had the most sick feeling. I was completely in shock. I had no idea that someone I loved that much would write such terrible things and attack and disregard such sacred ones.

I immediately responded by deleting the comment. He very clearly had no thoughts of sorrow for the victims or their families. Instead, he wanted to prove a point. In mindless rage he wrote- angry because his point had been nullified moments before.

And then I stopped. I clicked on his name, thinking to merely unsubscribe for his notes, and then a phrase from last night popped into my mind,

For how many pieces of silver are you willing to deny Christ?

I unfriended the guy on facebook. I blocked him. For all I know, he could be dead.

If he reads this, and I think he might, let it be known.

I am not offended. Offence is a choice to make. I have made my choice, and it is simply this:

I will not betray my God.

The Hold Up: I HATE Doctors. Nothing Personal.

So. I have two sections left in my mission paperwork before I can submit them. They are getting an appointment with my doctor and dentist.

I don't mind so much the dentist part. I don't mind getting my teeth cleaned, looked out, x-rayed, etc. And even if I DO have to get my wisdom teeth out...no big.

But I'm dreading and putting off this doctor thing like nobody's business.

I've hated doctors for as long as I can remember. Even the really nice ones...I hated them.

I hated them so much that for a while I thought that I should go to medical school just so that I wouldn't ever have to go to the doctor's office again!

We see how well that plan worked out...

Although I haven't completely given up hope for that one yet.

Knowing that I have to call up the doctor's office tomorrow to schedule an appointment is giving me some major anxiety. I've been trying to muster up the courage. It hasn't happened yet, but it WILL tomorrow.

Yup. Anyways.

Today was the First Presidency Christmas Devotional! Let the Christmas season commence! Hooray!